Christian Marriage Counseling

If your marriage is on the rocks, or headed in that general direction, you and your spouse may want to consider Christian marriage counseling. This can help both of you find healthy ways to make changes and heal the relationship, but it is not a guarantee.

Christian marriage counseling, just like any other type of marriage counseling is only as effective as each partner is willing to allow it to be.

It is fairly common that one party will be more reluctant to participate in counseling than the other. In order for change to really take hold it must be undertaken by both.

It's a sad truth that it only takes one person to ruin a marriage but it takes two people to fix it. If your spouse is unwilling to get counseling that does not mean you shouldn't try to go on your own.

While the odds are not in your favor for saving the relationship unless your spouse is an active participant in the process, you may be able to learn some skills that will help.

The longer you and your spouse wait to get help, the longer it will take to resolve the issues in most cases.

This is because whatever problems the two of you have has been going on for some time and there are probably a lot of old wounds and scars that have made both of you bitter.

To really fix the relationship you need to get to the heart of the matter and address that. Working your way through all that old "scar tissue" will take time.

If it seems like I am painting a rather dismal picture, please don't get discouraged. You and your partner can fix your marriage but these are the realities you must face.

In my opinion the surest way to failure is to have unrealistic expectations. If you expect the process to be fast and easy you will surely be disappointed when it becomes clear that it won't be either fast or easy.

At that point you might just give up hope altogether. But, if you go into the process knowing that it will be challenging and will most likely take time you are less likely to get discouraged and give up right away.

One of the first things each of you will need to learn how to do (and yes, it is a learned behavior) is to forgive not just your spouse for their part in the problem, but to acknowledge your part and forgive yourself too.

Most of us are pretty good and casting blame but, for most of us, deep in our hearts we also know when we are at fault too. Sometimes that knowledge can lead to a lot of guilt.

That is compounded when we become too afraid to face our own guilt. At that point we tend to push it down so far we virtually forget that we are at fault too! It quickly becomes a very destructive cycle.

Learning to change that, and other destructive cycles in our life, are the possible outcomes of Christian marriage counseling. You can improve not just your marriage but yourself and subsequently all relationships in your life.